A while back, when Hunter was almost 4 weeks old, I had wrote this up but never shared it... I thought after reading it now that it may be helpful to share so that someone else may understand that they are not alone if they ever expierence the same thing one day! here it is:
Tensions are high in the house right now and I don't know if it is just me working things up in my head or if hubby feels it too. I am almost scared to ask him because of how emotional I am right now. I know I will need to talk to him soon though but right now I am here to vent. I love breastfeeding but note to my hubby: do NOT use that for every time you hold him and he fusses to say he is hungry! No he is not hungry!!!!!!! This is what he does, if Hunter fusses, he will get up and slowly follow me around (as if I don't notice) AND/OR he will say very loudly in a baby comforting talk "I don't have a boobie son" and I am like, really? I NEED to tell him this bothers me because the baby doesn't know what he is saying so since it bothers me this much, it just doesn't need to be said. That leads me to saying that I know for now this is my "job" and that my husband has a job as well that I understand he works his tush off at but I still need support and help. Why don't men see that? Esp when you have a new HUGE change in your life like a baby. That leads me to this... when he sees me upset or even sometimes when I totally am okay but he "thinks" I am upset, he knows that after Hayden I had anxiety and took zoloft so he will use that as a "crutch" for me as well and assume I should just take the medicine. He makes it sound like he is only trying to be supportive but to me it comes across as "I don't want to hear it, so just take this and calm down... than you can magically handle it all" Right???? I just want comfort, support, and help.... a little TLC please!! I know I need to just tell him how I feel but today has been a very emotional day.
But on a good reassuring note, I have felt wonderful and so different through this post pardom and truly have not felt any depression or anxiety. I think that is why it upsets me when those that knew about the ppd with dd, question my emotions already with this one, when in truth, this is perfectly normal for 3 week baby blues and rollercoaster hormones!
3 days later: I did have a chance to talk to him and I felt nuch better. At first he took it too personal (like I was attacking him) but I told him that really, it was me... things that bothered me and if I didn't tell him it would build up and yet he would have never known, so he was better about it then. In his mind he is just trying to be supportive and I thanked him for that but he just needed a little "guidance" lol.